Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sick again...

So, I am sick… once again! Just a cold this time.. but will it ever end? It is taking on a different course than usual.. Usually my colds start out with a sore throat and then it moves into runny nose, congestion and sneezing and ends with a dry cough. This time I started with the runny nose and sneezing a few days ago. And last night the sore throat really hit! The kind of sore throat that causes you to swallow ever few seconds.. and hurts every time you do. I definitely lost sleep over it. Which isn’t good, especially since I have been in desperate need of sleep for the past few days now.

And I’m not sure if this was another symptom or not… but I practically fainted twice yesterday. I can always tell when it is coming, so I can get on the floor quickly before it causes me to fall to the floor. Hot flashes and cold sweats, dizziness, and then the vision starts going black. I can usually get down quick enough so that my vision doesn’t go completely black (it starts from the peripheral and works its way to the center). This time, I heard crickets in my ears. You know how you get that ringing in your ears sometimes? Well, it was just like that only the ringing sounded like a steady song of crickets chirping. I’m not sure what exactly causes my fainting spells. A lot of the time crackers, water, and rest help me feel better. But like I said, I don’t know if it had anything to do with the cold I have.

I am trying to get out of a slump and it seems like one thing after another hinders me from moving forward. But I am trying not to listen to the negative voices inside my head. I cannot be hindered by guilt or worthlessness. It’s okay to sleep and rest to be happy, healthy and stress-free. And it’s okay to do that during the day, if I can’t during the evening. And my husband really doesn’t care what the house looks like.. just a long as he has clothes to wear and food to eat. My worth is not judged by how much I do or clean every day. And I don’t have to compare how much I do with how much my husband does. He will keep loving me anyway even when I don’t measure up. It is nice to have a clean house.. it is a peaceful, stress-free haven for my husband. But resting in God’s presence is even better than resting in a clean house! My relationship with God comes even before the responsibilities He’s given me. Because I can’t take on those responsibilities without that relationship!

Sleep on tight... ‘Till the sunlight burns you happy. Until the sunlight burns a happy hole in your heart. <3

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