Sick again...

So, I am sick… once again! Just a cold this time.. but will it ever end? It is taking on a different course than usual.. Usually my colds start out with a sore throat and then it moves into runny nose, congestion and sneezing and ends with a dry cough. This time I started with the runny nose and sneezing a few days ago. And last night the sore throat really hit! The kind of sore throat that causes you to swallow ever few seconds.. and hurts every time you do. I definitely lost sleep over it. Which isn’t good, especially since I have been in desperate need of sleep for the past few days now.

And I’m not sure if this was another symptom or not… but I practically fainted twice yesterday. I can always tell when it is coming, so I can get on the floor quickly before it causes me to fall to the floor. Hot flashes and cold sweats, dizziness, and then the vision starts going black. I can usually get down quick enough so that my vision doesn’t go completely black (it starts from the peripheral and works its way to the center). This time, I heard crickets in my ears. You know how you get that ringing in your ears sometimes? Well, it was just like that only the ringing sounded like a steady song of crickets chirping. I’m not sure what exactly causes my fainting spells. A lot of the time crackers, water, and rest help me feel better. But like I said, I don’t know if it had anything to do with the cold I have.

I am trying to get out of a slump and it seems like one thing after another hinders me from moving forward. But I am trying not to listen to the negative voices inside my head. I cannot be hindered by guilt or worthlessness. It’s okay to sleep and rest to be happy, healthy and stress-free. And it’s okay to do that during the day, if I can’t during the evening. And my husband really doesn’t care what the house looks like.. just a long as he has clothes to wear and food to eat. My worth is not judged by how much I do or clean every day. And I don’t have to compare how much I do with how much my husband does. He will keep loving me anyway even when I don’t measure up. It is nice to have a clean house.. it is a peaceful, stress-free haven for my husband. But resting in God’s presence is even better than resting in a clean house! My relationship with God comes even before the responsibilities He’s given me. Because I can’t take on those responsibilities without that relationship!

Sleep on tight... ‘Till the sunlight burns you happy. Until the sunlight burns a happy hole in your heart. <3

Sleep

I wonder if it is possible to catch up on sleep. I have always heard that it is not. But then why do I feel like I do it so very often?

If I get 6 hours of sleep at night (and 8 is what I need), then I have a nap during the day to make up for the time lost. This works well for me.. I can actually stay awake throughout the entire day when I do this.

However, when I miss out on some sleep, and try to stay awake the entire day.. I am completely drained by evening-time. Especially if I keep busy during the day. If I go 2 or 3 days like this, without any naps, I can become numbingly sick and faint due to lack of sleep. Which is really pathetic, considering most people get little sleep. But if I feel this way, and I take a nap.. for, say, maybe a few hours, I can wake up feeling great. Isn't that what catching up on sleep is??

Just today.... I had gone a few days without catching up on sleep. I was doing some yoga (of all things) when I started feeling faint. I had to lay down immediately. After a few hours, I woke up.. and I feel fine now.

It's weird, because it's not like I'm taking about getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep at night. Just any amount less that what I need (which apparently is alot). Although... Even when I do get 2 or 3 hours of sleep, or if I pull an all-nighter, I can completely crash the next day.. getting really deep sleep (I am usually a light sleeper) and when I wake up, it's like nothing happened.

Part of the problem is my schedule. My 'bed-time' is some time between 10 and 2. I can't change this because my husband is a night owl, and I like to keep him company. I sometimes end up falling asleep on the couch until he is ready to go to bed. Then in the morning, I wake up to help him get off to work. My first alarm goes off either at 5:50 or 6:50 depending on the day. Like I said, I am a light sleeper, so I always wake up to these alarms (doesn't mean I'm ready to get up). Usually 2 hours later, once he is off to work, I will lay back down just to catch up on any sleep I had missed that night. I have no idea how my husband does it everyday; He is such a strong person. And nocturnal, did I mention?

Another part of the problem is our bed. We have a box spring mattress. It's not falling apart or anything, but the springs dig into me every night. I end up tossing and turning. Or I just lay there uncomfortably numb. I mean, I usually sleep through it, but I don't suspect it is the greatest sleep I am getting. Sometimes I think the couch is more comfortable (if only I could stretch out all the way on it... Ok, so it's a love-seat.)

I guess the only other problem it could be is, well... me. Somehow. I haven't quite figured that one out yet. I mean, I try to live a healthy lifestyle. I try to eat healthy. I avoid fast-food and sodas. I try to exercise at least a little bit. I mean, I know plenty of people with completely un-healthy lifestyles and they don't have this problem. I guess some people do just need more sleep... but seriously, this is just absolutely pathetic!

Crazy thing is, I am a morning person. I just love first thing in the morning. It's my favorite part of the day... if only I could be awake for it!

Trouble waking up

I'm not sure what has been wrong with me lately. I can almost always wake up to the drop of a pin, no matter how little sleep I have gotten. My DH relies completely on this, since he cannot wake up otherwise. It is in my morning routine to make sure that he is up for work on time everyday. But for some reason, the past few days I have been having trouble waking up. When I finally come to, and realize what time it is, it's cutting it very close with him getting to work on time.
I wonder if it has anything to do with this headache that I've had the past few days. It only seems to go away completely when I am asleep. No, it's not a migraine. In fact, instead of hearing things louder, my ears seem to be blocked up. My head is all foggy and it hurts to have my eyes open (but not due to light). I'm not sure what it is, but I am pretty used to headaches... and also pretty used to OTC drugs not working (which makes me wonder if it is all in my mind).
Hopefully it will go away soon, and I will feel better and be able to get back to my daily routines.

My crazy weekend!

On Saturday morning, I went to my Graduation Ceremony. I walked across stage and received my Associates degree. I am finally complete with school now!

That evening, I went to a jewelry party at my friend’s house. It was a blast! I brought red velvet cake mix cookies with chocolate chips melted on top. Yum! (recipe is below). I didn’t buy any jewelry (which I wasn’t planning on anyways), but I did sign up to host a party. We get free jewelry for being a host, which is the only way I would feel comfortable with getting any of it (I am beyond extremely frugal and stingy when it comes to buying stuff for myself). The next party will be mid-July.

That night, my lovely sister stayed over and we had a “Darko Movie Night”. We stayed up all night and watched Donnie Darko and then S. Darko. I’ve seen Donnie Darko before and knew I absolutely loved it!!! They were both amazing, although I must admit that Donnie Darko is sooo much better (Doesn’t it always work like that, the first one is always the best?). DH described it well when he said that it seemed like S. Darko was being weird and emo just for the sake of being weird and emo. It’s kind of true though… I mean it was a good movie, don’t get me wrong, but it just didn’t quite make complete sense with its purpose. Idk.

(click on images for IMDB description/review)

Anyways… Sunday, after taking sis home, was a complete waste of day. Period! Seriously, I don’t know how or why it happened, but I went to take a nap around 1:30pm. DH joined me a little while later. Crazy thing was that I didn’t even get up again until 6pm! And DH stayed in bed ‘till 8pm! What?!? I have no idea, but like I said… complete waste of day. It was pretty rainy and dreary outside though. But once again, there are still a million things to do on our To-Do List.

Red velvet cake mix cookies

www.recipezaar.com

Ingredients
1 (18 ounce) box red velvet cake mix (any brand will do)
2 eggs
1/3 cup oil

Directions
1 Mix all the cookie ingredients together. This will make a cookie dough.
2 Roll into balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Flatten down slightly (depending on the thickness you desire).
3 Bake at 375° until the tops crackle (about 8-10 minutes) or until desired doneness.
4 Cool and then frost (they're also good without the frosting).

Typical morning

I've got to do something about my mornings! Here's how my typical morning plays out:

• I wake up before DH, in order to wake him up for work.
• I make him juice (2 grapefruits and 2 oranges) in our juicer; I lay out his work uniform, accessories and boots; I bag his lunch (usually left-overs, bananas, a maybe a snack) and his multi-vitamins.
• If he is not up yet, I try to wake him again (sometimes with hand massages).
• After he leaves, I usually eat breakfast (cereal with cut-up banana) and then fall asleep on the couch until around 11AM.

The TV is on during this time. I sometimes watch parts of the Today Show. At 11 Rachael Ray comes on. During Rachael Ray I try to put away one load of laundry. After that, the TV goes off. Everything else on TV is just mind-numbing until 8PM.

I don't know if it is healthy for my sleeping habits to be like this. I would like to go to bed at 10PM, but DH doesn't start winding down until 11 or 12. If, for example, DH has to be at work at 7:30, then I would wake up between 5:30 and 6. and go back to sleep between 7:30 and 8 for another 3 hours. I apparently need my 8 hours of sleep to function!

But I don't know if this schedule is working out. Maybe I just need to try to force myself to stay awake until I can have an after-lunch siesta. But I know how hard it is for me to stay focused; I wonder if I can actually get anything accomplished while I'm forcing myself to stay awake.

We'll see what happens... :)

Another lazy day

It is beginning to look like a bad week in general. Not bad in the sense of me being in a bad mood, or bad things happening.. But bad as in 'I haven't gotten crap done!' I am failing as a homemaker this week. I think I will just ride out the rest of this week and have a nice fresh start come next week. :)

I've been so lazy the past few days. I get really unfocused sometimes. I can start browsing the Internet and get caught up in a million different things and get side-tracked in a million different directions. Or I can try to settle down into something (reading, etc.) and I end up falling asleep. Or, when I am up and trying to do something productive, my mind goes crazy and I start pacing laps just trying to figure out what I'm doing. It's insane really.

I think that having something going on in the background helps. Perhaps TV or music. It needs to be enough to be a slight distraction... (as crazy as it may sound, having an outward distraction might actually help me to focus. It can calm the stray thoughts in my mind while keeping me alert enough to not just give into sleep.) ...but not so much as to consume me. I can't do anything productive if a really good movie or a really good song comes on. I need to find the perfect balance.

I've been this way all my life. Even trying to do homework as a child, I needed some sort of slight distraction to help me focus. Trying to work in complete silence is just asking for fantasy land to take over. And I've always been one to get lonely easily. I always need to be in the same room as others, or at least have them within a good listening or viewing distance (kinda like my background noise). While I really do enjoy my sacred personal time alone, I love being around people. I guess thats another reason why it's so hard for me to be stuck at home all alone every day.. and why I try to connect with the outside world via the internet.

Anyways, next week is a new week, and a new chance for success. :)